I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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