he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
