I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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