so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
pray to the hookup gods
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
