so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
