i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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