So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
