yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
