I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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