can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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