The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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