We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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