oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
