You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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