yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize