i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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