Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
