You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I would ride that face into the sunset
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
