you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.