I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it's like heaven, but drunker
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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