I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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