Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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