i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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