your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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