apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
