i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize