I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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