i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
