Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
