Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
