lets start a swedish sibling band together
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
