You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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