I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
