he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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