I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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