Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
