who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
