when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
