Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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