Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time

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  (248): god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time http://tfl.nu/psyk
  Replies (10) Good night (1288) Bad night (704)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.

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  (609): this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef. http://tfl.nu/eg87
  Replies (12) Good night (1173) Bad night (782)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

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  (913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized http://tfl.nu/gtwy
  Replies (53) Good night (5136) Bad night (1065)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.

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  (765): how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol. http://tfl.nu/c7jp
  Replies (48) Good night (818) Bad night (6208)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.

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  (501): recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree. http://tfl.nu/wbc5
  Replies (86) Good night (9352) Bad night (4490)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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  (224): I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am http://tfl.nu/o84u
  Replies (4) Good night (5004) Bad night (1111)
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  (818): View more from California

  I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.

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  (818): I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself. http://tfl.nu/m9u0
  Replies (6) Good night (2269) Bad night (1012)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?

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  (913): Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying? http://tfl.nu/uitc
  Replies (7) Good night (895) Bad night (1792)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes

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  (229): Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes http://tfl.nu/ukqo
  Replies (3) Good night (771) Bad night (1071)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.

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  (901): She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas. http://tfl.nu/43pp
  Replies (2) Good night (1334) Bad night (892)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;

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  (719): I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now; http://tfl.nu/0kbl
  Replies (7) Good night (527) Bad night (1452)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU

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  (860): I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU http://tfl.nu/1s1y
  Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (412)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato

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  (212): Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato http://tfl.nu/ss5k
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (344)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm not going to ask which end you used.

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  (502): So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor. (518): I'm not going to ask which end you used. http://tfl.nu/pddo
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (577)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  someone needs to name a hurricane after you

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  (919): someone needs to name a hurricane after you http://tfl.nu/pqzo
  Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (229)

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