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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.

  Fav 33 11558 1178

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

  Fav 17 3507 928

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.

  (1-901): View more from Tennessee

  explains the nose bleeds.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.

  Fav 11 2513 1132

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.

  Fav 57 1821 2883

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.

  Fav 4 611 407

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• (585): View more from New York

  Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?

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