Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.

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  (773): I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys. http://tfl.nu/3mjd
  Replies (8) Good night (1156) Bad night (5563)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...

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  (519): I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling... http://tfl.nu/p0v8
  Replies (15) Good night (6000) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.

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  (631): I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form. http://tfl.nu/sx5m
  Replies (13) Good night (3941) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (438): View more from Quebec

  that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage

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  (438): that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage http://tfl.nu/1y6d
  Replies (12) Good night (1427) Bad night (4562)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things

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  (706): She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things http://tfl.nu/lrvj
  Replies (23) Good night (4942) Bad night (1379)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.

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  (254): Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop. http://tfl.nu/r5qk
  Replies (7) Good night (1861) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom

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  (612): Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom http://tfl.nu/d012
  Replies (5) Good night (1716) Bad night (828)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.

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  (603): the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me. http://tfl.nu/iz0f
  Replies (8) Good night (1953) Bad night (755)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.

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  (604): So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk. http://tfl.nu/87wr
  Replies (14) Good night (3106) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.

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  (304): Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out. http://tfl.nu/fz3p
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.

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  (719): Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink. http://tfl.nu/ib0d
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.

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  (307): She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse. http://tfl.nu/k440
  Replies (9) Good night (1229) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian

  (443): View more from Maryland

  And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?

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  (443): He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian (443): And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun? http://tfl.nu/mgrv
  Replies (0) Good night (695) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear

  (1-716): View more from New York

  The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear

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  (716): oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear (1-716): The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear http://tfl.nu/5vws
  Replies (4) Good night (844) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.

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  (+61): We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors. http://tfl.nu/213b
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (324)

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