Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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