I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
