Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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