My nipple is on Facebook.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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