I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
