Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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