well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
