Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
