"it" just moved
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you win again, gameday.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
