last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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