One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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