belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
