Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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