Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Randomize
