So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
