i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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