WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
